oreo-stuffed cookies

Regardless of the shameless hand-wringing that some of you may have been subjected to over the last few weeks, REALLY SUPER AWESOME things are happening.  Day job drama aside, I received an offer to write for HowStuffWorks.com, a subsidiary of Discovery and the host site of some of my favorite podcasts.  That brings my grand total of writing gigs to four, and as an English major, honestly, I should just shut up about this other job stuff now.

As cool as that is and as thrilled as I am, uncertainty still sucks.  But you know what’s a great antidote?  That’s right.  Excess.

Honestly, this sort of absurd anxiety is the only thing that could have motivated me to foist a recipe this ridiculous upon you smack in the middle of bikini season.  If there’s one thing that’s constant right now, it’s that I have some pathetically reptilian cravings for stoner food, and I don’t know if you can get any more “stoner” than cookies wrapped in cookies.  Welcome to my downfall.

Oreo-Stuffed Cookies

Adapted from here and probably lots of other places

2 sticks of butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar, packed

3/4 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

3 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 package Oreos

2 cups chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 350* Fahrenheit.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a medium-sized bowl, mix together flour, baking soda, and salt.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter, sugars, and vanilla.  Beat in eggs, scraping down the bowl occasionally.  Gradually stir in dry ingredients, then chocolate chips, if using.  Chill dough 15 minutes.

Take about 2 tablespoons of cookie dough and flatten into a patty.  Wrap as much as you can around an Oreo.  Flatten another bit of dough and wrap around the other side, patching as needed.  Continue until both cookie sheets are filled, then chill wrapped Oreos for another 15 minutes.  Bake 9-10 minutes.  Cool completely on a rack.

snickerdoodles

I’m busy.

Really busy.  Like doing productive things, sitting at my desk with an iced coffee tapping furiously, cleaning all the surfaces in my house because I just got new cleaning supplies (and maybe because I’m generally overcaffeinated these days thanks to said iced coffee) busy.

Also, possibly making money.  So I really hope you’ll forgive me for just popping in to drop off these snickerdoodles, which were simple, delicious, and a fun activity for the three-year old and eight-year-old who got to help me make them.  You can use all butter, but I’d recommend the mix of butter and shortening I’ve suggested here.  A little hydrogenated fat won’t kill you.

Snickerdoodles

Adapted from here

3/4 cups (1 1/2 sticks) butter, softened

1/4 cup shortening

1 1/2 cups white sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 3/4 cups flour

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup white sugar

3-4 tablespoons cinnamon

Preheat oven to 400*F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together butter, shortening, 1 1/2 cups sugar, eggs, and vanilla.  Slowly mix in flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt.  Form dough into 1- to 1 1/2-tablespoon sized balls; arrange on prepared baking sheets with at least 2 inches space between each.  Bake 8-10 minutes.  Cool completely.

oatmeal cookie bars with almond graham cracker crust

You know what’s a bad combination?  Big life decisions and a nascent iced coffee addiction.  As if I wasn’t already vibrating out of my chair here at my desk trying to soothe the hordes of what might as well be gerbils who’ve gone off their Ritalin squirming up my shoulders from the regular iced decaf – yes, DECAF – I sucked down earlier.  I’m a wuss at the mercy of a completely indifferent universe that is in no way plotting against me, but just has really bad timing.

I need more coffee.

That’s a lie.  I don’t need more coffee.  What I need is to be a grown-up, to be patient, to make a possibly tough choice, and to trust that I’ll be able to make everything okay, regardless of whether things turn out the way that’s easiest for me.  And, like, believe in myself, or some crap.  It’s not that hot, and I’m wearing a cute shirt.  Things can’t turn out too badly!

While I’m tizzying away over here, I’ve left you a recipe.  Remember when I told you about my sort of unsettling lack of restraint when it comes to combining lots of good things into one?  That may or may not be what happened here.  My favorite twin sister, thoughtfully acknowledging my current dearth of funds, requested “something with oatmeal and maybe almonds or hazelnuts and not that much chocolate” for her/our birthday; I went for all of the above plus more.  So while I stew in my own anxiety, please enjoy.

Oatmeal Cookie Bars with Almond Graham Cracker Crust

For bars:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, room temperature

1 1/4 cups brown sugar, packed

1/4 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 cups oats

3 cups almonds, chopped

1 recipe graham cracker crust

 

Preheat oven to 350*F.  Grease a 13×9 inch pan.  Pat graham cracker crust into pan; bake 15 minutes.  Remove from oven; set aside.

While crust is baking, stir together flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside.  Cream butter and sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer until fluffy.  Beat in eggs and vanilla.  Gradually stir in flour mixture until just combined, then stir in oats.

Evenly sprinkle chopped almonds over baked crust.  Drop batter by tablespoonfuls over, then smooth to an even layer.  Bake 25-30 minutes, or until edges are golden.  Cool completely before cutting.

cookie dough blondies

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s summer.  It’s very much summer.  And here in Southern California, that means stifling heat.  Although anything over 85 degrees makes me considerably more grumpy, it’s the unseasonal and decidedly unwelcome humidity that’s been nagging like a pesky little brother at my clammy soul of late.  I’m not sure who signed off on that, but they are not getting any of the delicious cookie dough blondies I’m about to share with you.

before

However, what summer weather doesn’t do for me, it does for the amazing summer fruit that’s been showing up everywhere from supermarkets to parking lots, and I took this opportunity the other day to stock up on a whole bunch of plums and nectarines.  Now, here’s the thing about nectarines.  When they’re good, they’re heavenly.  But when they’re not, they’re mealy balls of tasteless, teasing, would-be fruit.  Adam Carolla sometimes rants about things that do more harm than good – birthday party clowns, water beds, etc. – and I’d like to add stone fruit to that list.  As much as I try to be egalitarian about it, I still approach the fruit bins at Trader Joe’s with trepidation and have vowed to only purchase summer fruits from the poor sweaty souls at the farmer’s market.

after

Know what doesn’t carry that risk?  Butter.  And sugar.  Say what you will about that whole clogging arteries thing, but regardless of season, harvest, temperature, or other added ingredients, these two won’t let you down.  I know; you thought this was going to be some nice, fresh, healthy dessert, didn’t you?  I’m sneaky.

I’ve been making this recipe for years – it’s my go-to “need a quick dessert that will knock everyone’s socks off” recipe, and now I’m sharing it with you so you too can look awesome at parties and around Christmastime.  If you can bear to turn on the oven, I highly recommend churning out a batch of these ASAP.

Cookie Dough Blondies

2 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 sticks (1 cup) butter, at room temperature

1 cup brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup white sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 eggs

2 cups chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375* Fahrenheit.  Grease a 13×9 inch pan; set aside.

In a medium bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and salt.  Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter with sugars and vanilla until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes.  Add eggs one at a time, beating thoroughly and occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl.  With mixer on low speed, gradually stir in dry ingredients until just combined.

Spread batter evenly into prepared pan.  Sprinkle chocolate chips evenly on top.  Bake 3-4 minutes, until chips are soft.  Remove from oven.  With a knife, swirl chocolate in a decorative pattern, being careful not to overdo it (it’ll start looking ugly and muddy).  Bake 25 more minutes, or until edges are golden.  Cool completely in pan before cutting.

blueberry muffins

It’s almost July 4th, and your RSS feeds are probably glutted with cakes decorated as American flags and recipes for red, white, and blue Jell-O.  As fun as the strawberry stripes and blueberry stars are on a bed of white buttercream, though, I’ve seen the patriotic desserts enough to be over it.  I’m all for providing content that’s timely and useful – which, admittedly, flag-themed desserts sometimes are – but if I were a really good blogger, I would have offered up something boozy and refreshing here instead of the arguably hypocritical blueberry muffins I’m about to show you.

It’s my birthday weekend, though, and this year, that means more drinking of alcohol than cooking with it.  So instead, I’m bringing you these blueberry muffins.  It happens, of course, that these are half patriotic already, meaning I’ve already broken my own rule – and which also means that you now have free reign to make them additionally so with the addition of some chopped-up strawberries.  I’ll be busy drinking the alcohol I wasn’t cooking with – and thus will be far too busy to judge.

Blueberry Muffins

Adapted from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking From My Home to Yours

1 1/3 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs, separated

1 stick butter, room temperature

1 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup yogurt

2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen and un-thawed

Line 2 muffins pans with paper liners.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.  Whisk together dry ingredients; set aside.

With the whisk attachment, in the (very clean) bowl of a stand mixer, beat egg whites with a pinch of salt to glossy peaks.  Gently scrape whites into a separate (also clean) bowl.

In the same mixing bowl, beat butter and sugar until creamy.  Add egg yolks; beat about 2 minutes.  With mixer on low speed, gradually add half of the dry ingredients, then yogurt, then other half of dry ingredients.  Stir until just combined (there should still be some visible traces of flour).  Gently fold in egg whites, then blueberries.

Divide batter evenly among muffin cups.  Bake 30 minutes, or until edges are golden and a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.  Cool completely.

strawberry buttercream macarons

this is what triumph looks like.

I did it.

Oh yes, my friends.  That lofty peak, that holy grail of baking, those finicky little bites of meringue and almond and delectable filling – after a number of sticky, flat, and frustrating attempts, the elusive French macaron is MINE.

piped

You may notice that some of my shells have cracked tops.  You may notice that a few are lacking noticeable “feet,” that bubbly little region on the bottom of each cookie.  You may also notice that I don’t care, because I’ve finally figured out how to make these little suckers, and it’s all going to get better from here.

look how pretty.

I really wish I could offer some profound macaron wisdom for any who, like me, have spent more time than they care to admit dropping almond meal onto a food scale, grain by grain, for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of French patisserie.  Unfortunately, I don’t tend to be that useful, and this is no exception.  Instead, I’ve tried to emphasize the important steps in the recipe below – the things that I messed up and gradually and by process of elimination learned to do correctly.

Afraid of macarons?  I don’t blame you.  I’m still learning their secrets, but I can promise that they’re attainable – in addition to delicious, gluten-free, and lowish-calorie (they’re made with egg whites; that counts, right?) – and really, I’d like to see anyone come up with a reason compelling enough to refute that argument.

finished - and so, so cute.

Strawberry Buttercream Macarons

This is a very basic shell recipe.  Since the filling I chose was strawberry buttercream, I chose to make the shells pink, but you can easily omit the food coloring (or use a different color) and fill with anything you choose.  Nutella?  Dulce de leche?  A ganache of some sort?  Go to town.

3 oz. egg whites (about 3 whites), aged at room temperature at least a day [This is important.  Don’t be lazy.]

3 oz. granulated sugar

6 oz. powdered sugar, divided

3 oz. almond meal

Generous 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract

Food coloring (optional)

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In the bowl of a stand mixer using the whisk attachment (or by hand, if you want a workout), whisk egg whites to foamy.  Add granulated sugar and whip to soft peaks.  Do not overbeat!  You’ll end up with flat, oozy shells.

With a spatula, gently fold in 3 oz. powdered sugar.  This is important.  Don’t use the mixer.  Add food coloring, if using.  Gently fold in almond meal and remaining 3 oz. of powdered sugar, then vanilla.  Again, if you’re folding, you should not be using your mixer.  Spatula is the way to go.

Pipe batter into small rounds on parchment paper.  Let sit 1-2 hours, or until rounds have developed a hard shell.  If you’re planning on making your own filling, this is a great time to do so.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit; bake 8-10 minutes.  Cool completely on racks before filling.

Just a note:  Every time I’ve made macarons, I’ve ended up baking them for at least 10 and sometimes 12 minutes.  Check at 8, but if your shells don’t come off of the parchment fairly easily, they probably need another minute or two.

 

Strawberry Buttercream

3 large strawberries

1 stick butter, room temperature

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

3-4 cups powdered sugar, divided

1 tablespoon heavy cream

In a food processor, pulse strawberries until pureed.  Add butter and vanilla, then 2 cups powdered sugar.  Pulse until combined.  Add cream, then remaining sugar, pulsing after each addition.

When buttercream has reached the desired consistency, pipe onto the flat side of one cookie and sandwich with a second.

gluten-free oatmeal cookie bark

My family cooks from scratch.  We do this exclusively and almost to the point of snobbery; it creates a sort of anxious struggle for our friends between really delicious food and and really annoying cooks.  When I was little and we’d have people over for birthdays, they would be shocked at how good our cakes tasted.  “That’s because you’re probably used to store-bought,” my dad would scoff.

pre-baking

I cringe a little thinking about that, but it’s hard to grasp the power of butter, brown sugar, and vanilla extract if you haven’t creamed them together in the bowl of your mixer and then caught a drip off of the beaters.  Some people have joked that it’s love that makes the things I bake taste good; I suppose that may be, but my hunch is that it’s really just butter.

Case in point: this “bark,” a hybrid of a few recipes I picked up around the Interwebs that I then re-worked to meet the gluten-free preferences of my boss, probably isn’t perfect.  What it is, however, is chock full of real butter, rich brown sugar, and chocolate chips, and that should be good enough for anybody.

Gluten-Free Oatmeal Cookie Bark

1 3/4 cups rice flour

1 cup oats

Pinch salt

2 sticks butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup white sugar

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

2 cups chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, stir together rice flour, oats, and salt.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter, sugars, and vanilla until light and fluffy.  Slowly stir in dry ingredients until fully incorporated.  Stir in chocolate chips.

Drop by 1/4-cupfuls onto prepared baking sheet.  Using a spatula (you may want to oil it lightly), spread dough to thickness of chocolate chips.  Bake 20-30 minutes, or until golden brown.  Cool completely, then break into pieces.

 

a cupcake almost-fiasco

 

I feel like I should shove these photos in someone’s face threateningly.  “Those cupcakes sure look nice, don’t they?  You better appreciate those cupcakes.  You almost didn’t get those cupcakes at all!”  (Side note: I wonder if anything threatening has ever actually been done with cupcakes?)

The confusing part is that these were actually fantastic until the frosting came into play.  “What?” you say.  I know.  The frosting is the best part, especially this cream cheese frosting I whipped up (previously seen on this red velvet cake and probably some other things I haven’t told you about), which was declared “the best cream cheese frosting I’ve ever tasted” by my good friend Courtney and of which there is a massive tub in my fridge that I am trying desperately not to devour with a spoon, perhaps a ladle.  Oh, bikini season.

 

Overconfidence was my downfall.  Sure, I can make Hello Kitty cupcakes for your five-year-old’s birthday party.  No, I don’t need fondant.  Thirty smiling cream cheese feline visages on thirty chocolate and vanilla cupcakes coming up.  Made sturdily from frosting and optimism.

I’ll leave it at this: My thirty chocolate and vanilla cupcakes decorated cheerily with flowers and little polka-dot borders looked lovely.

 

Despite my decorating failures, however, these cupcakes were still great.  With a soft but defined crumb and perfect little domed tops, I somehow managed to pick two winning recipes.  I suggest you make at least one of these…but please, no Hello Kitty.

not too bad, when all was said and done.

 

Vanilla Cupcakes

Adapted from Deb

1 stick plus 2 tablespoons butter, slightly softened

1 1/3 cup sugar

3 eggs

½ cup sour cream

¾ teaspoon vanilla extract

1 ½ cups flour

1/6 cup cornstarch

½ teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line muffin pans with paper liners.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Reduce speed to medium and add eggs one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl.  Add sour cream and vanilla; stir until smooth.

In a separate bowl, stir together dry ingredients, then slowly add to butter mixture until just combined.  Fill cupcake liners to 2/3 full.  Bake 20-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean.  Cool before frosting.

 

Chocolate Cupcakes

Adapted from Epicurious

1 ¾ cups flour

¾ cup cocoa powder

¾ teaspoon baking soda

¾ teaspoon salt

1 ¾ cups sugar

¾ cup/1 ½ sticks butter

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup hot water

1 ¼ cups chocolate chips, optional

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line standard muffin pans with paper liners.  Stir together dry ingredients.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.  Add eggs one at a time, beating until thoroughly incorporated.

Beat in vanilla, half of flour mixture, and hot water.  Stir in remaining flour mixture until just combined.  Let batter stand until cooled and slightly thickened, about 5 minutes.  Stir in chocolate chips.

Divide batter among muffin cups.  Bake 22-25 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out with a few crumbs attached.  Cool completely in pans.

gluten-free chocolate cupcakes

The last time I tried to make something that was gluten-free (white chocolate macadamia nut cookies), I made a point not to tell anyone until after they tasted it.  And it worked really well – every single person raved about how good they were and couldn’t believe that they were gluten-free.

chuck it all in the food processor

The one person with whom I didn’t pull my shenanigans, though, was my food snob coworker, and he took full advantage.

Me: “Here, Nick.  Try one.  These are gluten-free, but I made some regular ones that I’ll bring over in a sec.”

Nick (taking a bite): “Eh, they’re not bad.  For gluten-free.”

ready for the oven

Yeah, okay.  I get it.  Gluten-free is a turnoff, as are vegan and vegetarian and all of those food philosophies that require dietary modification.  And, to be honest, I kind of agree, if only because a “food philosophy” just sounds radically pretentious.

The one exception, though, is those recipes that are unintentionally dietarily philosophical, the ones that don’t require rice flour or fermented cashews or whatever the digestively challenged substitute for real food in their baked goods.  This is one of those recipes.  You won’t find any suspicious health food store ingredients in here – just chocolate, almonds, honey, and a pinch here and there of things you probably already have sitting in your pantry.  And even if you work in an office that houses all breeds of eaters, I defy them all to find a reason to abstain.

 

drizzled and cute

Gluten-Free Chocolate Cupcakes

Adapted generously from Jen

1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup almonds (I used lightly salted)

3 eggs

1/4 cup honey

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line a mini-muffin tin with paper liners or lightly grease each cup.

In a food processor, combine chocolate chips and almonds until they have the consistency of coarse sand.  Add eggs, agave, vanilla, and salt; pulse ten seconds or until combined.

Fill each cup to just over 3/4 full.  Bake 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each cupcake comes out clean.  Let cool in pan five minutes, then transfer to a cooling rack.  Decorate with your favorite frosting, or just drizzle on some melted chocolate like I did.

strawberry shortcake mini-cheesecakes

If my typing seems a little stiff and awkward, I apologize; it’s probably because 3/4 of my body is covered in cheerful, peeling sunburns.  It’s been a stressful few weeks – money is tight, the future is kind of generally uncertain, and it’s been hard not to be a little grumpy here and there.  My chronically studious/obsessively productive side told me to find more work to do; my do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do boyfriend* told me to take advantage of his parents’ Baltic cruise and lay out in their backyard.  You can probably guess which option I chose.

*Please tell him it’s his turn take a vacation.

graham cracker crumbs for crusts

Despite my apparently pitiful sunscreen application techniques, my five-day staycation (thanks, Memorial Day) was exactly what I needed.  If you’re not a freelance writer with a flexible schedule, however, that may be difficult to pull off – which is why I bring you these strawberry shortcake mini-cheesecakes.

press into muffin cups

These are summer in a muffin tin.  They’re delicious, with a flavorful graham cracker crust, soft pound cake, and tangy cheesecake, but what really does it is that strawberry swirl.  I don’t care what mood you’re in or how much money you don’t have; I defy you not to smile at that jaunty little splash of red.

chop up pound cake

For freshness and aesthetic purposes, I recommend making these the day you’re planning to serve them, but they can be made a day in advance.  If you want to really amp up the cuteness factor, try them in mini muffin tins and start checking for doneness a few minutes early.

Strawberry Shortcake Mini-Cheesecakes

2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted

3 tablespoons sugar

16 ounces (2 packages) cream cheese, room temperature

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 package frozen strawberries, thawed and pureed

1 recipe pound cake, below, cut into 1/4- to 1/2-inch squares

Powdered sugar, for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line two muffin tins with paper or aluminum liners.

Place graham cracker crumbs, 1/4 cup sugar, flour, salt, and melted butter into a mixing bowl to combine.  Press a few spoonfuls of crumbs into each muffin tin, pressing up the sides about half an inch.  Bake 5 minutes, or until just browned.  Remove from oven.

In the bowl of a stand  mixer, beat the cream cheese with the sugar until smooth.  Add eggs and vanilla, beating until combined and scraping the sides of the bowl occasionally with a spatula.

Place two pound cake squares in each muffin cup, then top with 1/2 teaspoon strawberry puree.  Fill each cup with cheesecake batter to about 1/4 inch below the top of the cup.  Top with another 1/2 teaspoon puree.  Swirl slightly with a knife; repeat.

Bake 25 minutes, or until cheesecake edges are just beginning to brown and centers are almost set.  Remove from oven and let cool completely, then refrigerate.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar before serving.

Pound Cake 

1 stick butter, at room temperature

3/4 cup flour, plus more for dusting the pan

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

Pinch salt

2 eggs

Scant 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

1 tablespoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Grease and flour a loaf pan.  Stir dry ingredients together; set aside.

In the bowl of a mixer, beat butter and sugar until creamy.  Add vanilla.  Beat in eggs.  Slowly stir in flour mixture; pour into prepared pan.

Bake 30 to 45 minutes, or until a toothpick stuck into the center of the cake comes out clean.  Cool in pan 10 minutes, then invert onto cooling rack to cool completely.